Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol

I’ve been in a bubble all day at work listening to my ipod and of course thinking. Thinking is never safe, I should know this. When I think it leads to thinking about him. And quite frankly I’m sick of thinking about him.

I found myself thinking about how everything ended and how I regret not saying one thing at that time. I lied to him and I shouldn’t have, I just didn’t think that night would be the last time we would ever talk. It was such a small lie, but one that could have made a huge difference. So many times I tried to end things between him and I, but he always came back. I never figured this was the complete end, that he would be back because he always came back and I would be able to explain. Explain everything, not just that lie, but everything that has happened between us.

Now I'm left wonder would it have made a difference if I told the truth? And I find myself wanting to email him and tell him, but what would that accomplish? Nothing, I’m not looking to dig up the past. I don’t want to talk about what happened with him and I anymore, I’m done with. But I do wonder how he is doing, if he is happy. More than anything I want to know if he is happy…

posted by Mandy @ 1:54 PM